Arm's Length
A girlfriend of mine deeply feels that the reason she struggles in parsvakonasana and in arm balances is that her arms are just too short. She has trouble touching the floor. Too short may be an overstatement. Her arms are her arms and they are completely perfect for her lovely body. She has a long torso too which may make it more difficult to reach the floor sometimes. I got her to drop her hip and scoop her tailbone in parsvaK the other day and "suddenly" the arm length wasn't a problem.
I'm always amazed at how simple shifts can have a profound influence. Usually I know what is needed, but convincing myself to make the shift is the hard part.
Thresholding again. I'm doing some of that work that needs to be done but is wickedly uncomfortable. I think this year is about becoming a real adult. Maturing. Because, that's really who I want to be. I'm tired of blaming others, of judging others, of holding out, and particularly of fear.
I'm learning a lot about my arm's length right now. Have you seen my arm's length? Chances are, if you've met me you've been at arm's length. No matter how close you want to get to me and how deeply inside you think you actually are... fear kicks in and my arm will grow in an instant to move you back 20 years. Perhaps the only ones who really get in are my husband, child, and best girlfriends... but all are only visitors in the embrace before the push away begins again.
It's a knee-jerk reaction. Feels uncontrollable. But, I'm told, it's not.
And so this is a cycle to look at opening the boundaries (yikes!), which means dealing with things that are less than pleasant in an honest and mature way. This is also a cycle for maturing, discipline and not so much mental complaining.
And a cycle of service. Somehow those things keep coming to me. Maturity, Discipline, Service. All wrapped into speaking. Voice. WORDS = Power, Vibrancy, Vulnerability.
Well, I'm paralyzed/terrified. And I'm not going to let that stop me. Because I feel this incredible surge too. The cloud of terror is blocking a blinding sun of manifestation.
So it is also a cycle for playing and expanding. For many attempts and failures, and re-attempts, and re-learning. And for clocking time in the fire. For, to transform will require a lot of heat.
I have long arms that shoot out at a moment's notice. Time for handstanding without the wall. Forearm stand with no support. Turning the world upside down for long times. And letting it all exist as it is, not fixing. Time to twist and sweat and feel uncomfortably weird in a pose and in a moment and just let it be that way for the greater good of becoming a mature adult person on this planet.
Anyhoo. I'm back from vacay to some hard real work to do. Personal evolution.
While I'd like to do it all from this chair and in my mind, that just isn't how it works. Anodea Judith says "Relationship is the crucible through which evolution occurs." So, I'm stepping in. Trying to drop my hip, tuck my tail, grow up, and use my arms as I intend them... in the biggest, love-filled, most all embracing hug possible.
