Give yourself Permission
In my happy place
Last week I was on vacation on an island in North Carolina. The beach is my ultimate happy place. And, this year the beautiful weather and clear warm water made it even more restful than usual.
As we were driving home I realized that part of what made my vacation so restorative was that I gave myself complete permission to do whatever I wanted to do while we were there.
Among other things, I read a novel in the middle of the day and napped most afternoons. I can’t tell you the last time I did either of those things at home.
Permission
You don’t have to wait until you go on vacation to give yourself permission to do what you want to do. You could do it today, but chances are, you won’t.
Ask yourself: How often do I actually let myself do whatever I feel like doing? And how often do I do that without feeling guilty about it?
If you’re anything like me or many of the women I work with, not very often. Many of us feel like we don’t have permission to do what we need and want to do for ourselves.
Without permission to do what you want, you’ll hold yourself back. You’ll keep your nose to the grindstone, always looking for more work to do. Things that seem enticing or fun will keep getting pushed to the end of the to-do list and then off it.
Additionally, when you think you don’t have permission to do whatever you want, you’ll feel really guilty when you DO take time to follow your own interests.
I once coached a woman who spent hours creating a fabulous patio garden. When I suggested that she sit on the patio with her favorite book and a cold drink for twenty minutes, she really struggled. She felt incredibly guilty taking that time.
She just couldn’t give herself the permission to relax and enjoy her patio..
You have Value
The real reason that you aren’t already giving yourself permission to do what you want to do is not really about the permission. It’s really about valuing yourself.
When you give yourself permission to do whatever you want to do, you remind yourself and the world of your innate value.
This is no small shift.
To give yourself permission to do what you want asks you to value yourself at least as much as the other people and responsibilities in your life. That means there are times when you do things with and for yourself and no one else.
Permission means you value your own ideas and interests. And reminds you to use your time and energy in ways that support, inspire, uplift, and restore you.
Remember my client with the garden patio? She did some great inner work around her guilt and discovered it boiled down to remembering that she had value. Her value was not based on anything other than being alive. She remembered that her time, energy, and interests were important.
It was hard for her not to feel guilty sitting on her patio with a book in the middle of the day. But, she used affirmations we created together to remind herself of her own value. And she made it through those first minutes of being uncomfortable and was able to settle in and actually enjoy herself.
Give yourself permission
You are allowed to have interests. You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to have desires. And you are allowed to live your life in ways that values all parts of you, which includes doing whatever you want to do sometimes. You are the one in charge of permission. It’s time to grant it to yourself.
Try This:
Take a few minutes to sit with your journal
Remind yourself of your innate value.
Now, Write yourself a permission slip
Write out the following or a variation of it:
I, (PRINT YOUR NAME), hereby grant (PRINT YOUR NAME) full permission to do whatever she/he/they wants whenever she/he/they wants to do it. To live fully the life he/she/they have been granted.
Create a list of the top 5 or 10 things that you’d really like to do but don’t usually give yourself permission to do.
(Print your Name) retains this permission until the end of her/his/their days.
Legal Guardian Signature: (sign it)
Dated:
Post it on your fridge for all to see. Or by your computer or on your bathroom mirror.
If you stop yourself from doing what you want to do, go back to your permission slip and remind yourself you already have all the permission you need to do what you want to do.
Start Living
The person in charge of the permission slip for you and your life is YOU!
It’s time to sign it and start living!
Give yourself permission to follow your joy.
Give yourself permission to do what YOU want to do!
Give yourself permission to enjoy your life!!!
Comment below - What will you give yourself permission to do today?