But First .... Gratitude
“What are you thankful for this year?” - it’s such a grandmotherly question, isn’t it?
When I think of that question I remember my grandmother getting down in my face. She’d lovingly demand that I be grateful for something other than my Barbie dolls and chocolate desserts.
Now my mother-in-law starts the question around the Thanksgiving table. I watch as my children squirm a little, trying to think of something to say. Sometimes I see my nephew roll his eyes. I listen as my husband gives a trite answer. I dodge the question with the not-so-personal gratitude for everyone’s health and safety. The whole thing feels awkward, forced.
It’s interesting that we feel awkwardness around Thanksgiving gratitude given that so many of us practice gratitude privately.
PERSONAL GRATITUDE
Gratitude is an emotion with one of the highest vibratory frequencies - making it a superhero in the emotions department. It lifts your spirits and helps you see more clearly. Folks claim that practicing gratitude can help you manifest your dreams. And you just feel better when you’re in gratitude than when you’re in negativity. This probably isn’t new to you, Oprah’s been preaching gratitude for years so I bet you’ve got a gratitude journal lying around somewhere.
But how often do you express gratitude out loud and with other people?
COLLECTIVE GRATITUDE
I know, Oprah didn’t tell you to do it this way… but gratitude has an even bigger impact when we practice it in community.
Gratitude is like an invisible thread that weaves people together. When we express gratitude in a group we join our minds around a single, often joyful, idea. We remember deeper truths about the world around us, usually ones we’d forgotten. We collectively set aside our irritations and open to abundance… goodness…. beauty. And, we learn about each other.
Imagine I say: “I’m grateful for the beautiful sky today” - it invites you to look up, to notice the sky and to make a connection with it. That connection helps us find common ground.
Imagine I say: “I’m grateful for my big booty” - it might make you chuckle. It would probably encourage you to ask ‘why’ and that might lead into a deeper explanation… you might even come away feeling grateful for your own booty.
Imagine I say: “I’m grateful that my child is healthy today”- it reminds you how precious life is and that we’re all in it together.
In this world where we seem to be moving further and further away from our common humanity, gratitude can be the thread that sews us back together. When you start your board meeting, zoom call, or family dinner by expressing gratitude you create positive links between people. The joining of hearts and minds sets the stage for collaboration, problem solving, and connective learning that isn’t possible when we just launch in to the agenda of the day.
TRADITIONAL GRATITUDE
This isn’t a new practice. I’ve been taught that gratitude was a foundational practice for the Haudenosaunee, an indigenous people of this land. When they came together, they considered Thanksgiving to be the ‘words that came before all others’. The expressions of gratitude lasted for days and days. After so much time in shared celebration it was much easier to find solutions to problems. That tradition continues to this day.
AUTHENTICITY & GRATITUDE
Again, I know it can be awkward for some of us to share our gratitude out loud. But that’s only because we’re out of practice doing it. If you want to live the Authentic life, one where you share your truth with nothing to hide and nothing to prove, sharing your gratitude is a great place to start. More than likely your true expression of gratitude will bring people closer to you, not push them away.
So this year, as you gather with folks you love, notice what happens when the gratitude question comes up. Remember that the sharing of gratitude is where it has it’s most impact. Instead of rolling your eyes or saying something trite, speak out. Offer your thanksgiving to the shared list of gratitude and watch as it weaves you into deeper connection with your people.
For a description of the Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving practice please view this beautiful video - https://youtu.be/swJs2cGNwIU
And to each of you: THANK YOU! Thank you for coming to class or trusting me in your coaching calls. Thank you for reading these notes each week and saying so. I am deeply grateful that I get to walk beside you in this life.
Note: I’ll be taking a break from writing next week to spend time with my family. See you in December.