You're Not the only One Asking "WTF?"
(Photo by Uday Mittal on Unsplash)
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If you’ve been thinking “What the F…..?” a lot and wondering if you’re the only one, I promise you, you’re not. EVERYONE I talk to has said the same thing to me in the last month so. That “WTF?” question usually comes with shell shock and a dazed expression. It feels ungrounded, confused, and disoriented.
And with good reason…. all of us are stirred up. We’re leaving jobs or starting new ones. We’re moving houses. We’re ending friendships or getting divorced. We’re letting go of things that used to bring us joy, but don’t satisfy in the same way anymore. We’re dealing with health crises, and family crises, and world crises —- and still trying not to catch COVID. All while starting to feel glimmers of HOPE that the situation could be improving.
WHAT IF…?
While life can feel very “WTF?” right now, I’m also starting to feel into something else: possibility. There is possibility in this strange liminal time between quarantine and whatever is next. Something new can emerge, if we’re willing to dream it up. Do you feel that? Hovering on the edge of everyone’s awareness is a new arrangement of the world that could be possible.
The way to dream it up is to drop the “WTF?” question, and start asking a new one : “What if?”
“What if I build my post-pandemic life in a very intentional way?” “What if I include the things that nourish me as foundational building blocks instead of as after thoughts?” “What if I dream bigger than ever before?” “What if I love deeper than I used to?” “What if I’m part of the solution now?” When you ask these kinds of questions, that new world starts to pop into your mind.
Where “WTF?” kept you stuck, “What If?” invites you to dream, and to dream big.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
When I ask coaching clients to dream, they sometimes say they have no ideas. It can be hard to start dreaming if you’ve been stuck in “WTF?” for a while. You’ve been keeping your head down and trying to make it through the changes of the last year. So, it’s normal to feel stuck. But if you want things to flow again, it’s time to start dreaming.
If “What if?” feels too hard to answer, then start with this: “WHAT DO I WANT?”
Seriously, just pause and ask yourself right now, “What do I want?” Nothing is off limits. Let yourself want what you want. Listen for your answer. Write it down if that helps you. When you answer from deep within, your next dream will be revealed. A dream that’s really from your true self will ask you to embody your magic. That’s how you’ll know it’s a good one.
Here’s the thing, a lot of people have a hard time connecting with what they want.
If that’s you, try this:
If the answer is: I don’t know.
You may be tired, or out of practice with asking yourself. So take this shortcut. Pick one of the most common and deepest longings of all humanity: Peace, Freedom, Love, or Joy. Which one do you want more of in your life right now? Repeat it to yourself: I want Peace. I want Freedom. Soften, and see if you can feel anything wake up inside as you recognize this as a true want.
Use that quality as a guide for different areas of your life. Ask things like: “What if I had more freedom in my work life?” “What if I brought more joy into my workouts?” “What if brought love into my space?” These kinds of questions can shape your decisions in very interesting ways if you’ll let them.
If the answer is: I want sleep
You’re tired. More likely, you’re exhausted. Please go rest. Your heart can’t dream big if you don’t have the energy to make it a reality. Each day when you might usually ask “WTF”, start asking “What if I rested today?” “What if I made a practice of resting regularly?” It may take some time, but as your body becomes more rested your heart will start to dream again, I promise.
If the answer seems “shallow”
When you ask yourself what you want your first answer might include all the things you’ve been denying yourself: “I want a hamburger with fries and chocolate cake”. “I want new kicks.” “I want a private island where my family can’t find me”. "I want to win the lottery.” On the surface, it seems like these things will make you happy. But, really, you know they won’t bring lasting joy.
The first step is to notice if you’re denying yourself small delights. Like, can you actually eat a piece of cake once in a while simply because it’s good? If so, there’s no time like now brighten your days by giving yourself some delight. You will feel one thousand times better if you do!
The second step is to imagine that you already have all those things and ask yourself what you’d want THEN. You know that stuff’s not going to sustain joy, so what do you want that will?
FOLLOW THE SPARK : DREAM A NEW WORLD
If you stick with the “What do I want question” long enough, you will land on an answer that has a bit of a spark to it. That spark is what you’re waiting for. Follow it while asking “What if….” and see where it takes you. Your want drives your dream. Your dream drives your decisions. That’s how your life transforms.
We have this great time of possibility right now. Imagine a world where more and more people start waking up to the deeper wants: Joy, Peace, Freedom, Love… and start building their lives around them. What if as they build their lives they included supporting others to build those things in too. So now, Peace, Love, Joy, Freedom, gets built into neighborhoods and communities. We extend it to our friends, loved ones, strangers, and even enemies. That’s what I want. That’s my what if.
Are you with me? Let’s dream big together.
You might not know this, but helping people discover what they want,
then dream big and make it happen is EXACTLY what I do as a life coach.
Want some help creating your next vision?
Schedule a Connection Call here. (But don’t delay, my roster is filling up)