What can You Give?

A friend recently had a true family emergency.  A phone call you never want to get type emergency.  Incredibly, everything ended up being mostly ok.  But it was shocking and there are pieces to pick up after events like that.So a week later I made dinner for her family.  That sounds like a small thing, but it was a big deal to me and it points to my own transformation.

When I was a young adult, I probably would’ve done it. I had ideas like that and often reached out when friends were struggling.  But when I was a new mother I definitely wouldn’t have done it.  Not because I couldn’t, but because it wouldn’t have even occurred to me.  I was so mired in my own resistance and negativity that I couldn’t see or bear anyone else’s challenges.

More recently, as I’ve dropped resistance, I started feeling the urge to do things like this again. But I still didn’t do it.  A friend had a family emergency and I wanted to offer to bring dinner, but it just felt awkward.  Or it seemed like I was imposing myself.  Or it felt like too much work.  Again, something inside me was holding back.

But with my friend recently something shifted in me.  I reached out, despite the awkwardness.  I offered and even slightly nudged her to say yes, and then I just did it.  We had a sweet moment where I handed off the meal.  She was headed out of town that weekend and her husband was all set with leftovers too. When I walked away from that I had a great sense of being able to lift a tiny little bit of the burden on her specifically and on her family as a whole.

I don’t tell this story to make it sound like I’m some super awesome person because I cooked dinner one time.  I tell it to talk about the power of inner work and small incremental changes.

When you’re engaged in inner work - on your mat in yoga, on your meditation cushion, in conversation with a coach or mentor - it often feels like you’re not making any progress.  You see small changes, but they disappear quickly.  You cover the same ground over and over again, often to the point of frustration.  It’s easy to want to give up on your own growth.

But inner work is a long game.  There aren’t any short cuts.  

When you stick with yourself even when you’re tired of your same old stuff, you’re reinforcing the new habits and beliefs that will sustain you in the future.  You slowly chip away at your own limits and bit by bit reveal your true self.  Inner work is a process that is ever unfolding. And it’s one that requires your participation.  The more you show up to yourself and your inner experience, the more transformation will happen.  Transformation into YOU. 

To be honest, I think there are tipping points along the way.  These are moments when you have an inner shift and suddenly those limitations that used to really keep you stuck or playing small disappear and you have an interior growth spurt.  You glow from the inside and feel lighter, more free, more like your true self.   It’s not to say that you’ll never bump into the same walls again (you will, it’s not fun) but the next time you meet them, they won’t be so hard to work with.  

Small shifts and tipping points along the way add up over time as you slowly embody your true self more and more.  Then things start to get really exciting.  I believe all of our true selves can stand the suffering in the world.  I believe our true selves want to help.  

As you liberate your true self, you’ll find ways to be an asset in the world.  Maybe you do it in big loud ways maybe you do it in smaller ways.  But I believe there comes a time when you’re full enough and empowered enough that you start to change the world for the good.

I think that’s what happened with me with my friend.  Yes, I took them dinner.  But by doing that I took something off her plate, gave her family nourishment, kept them little bit uplifted in a challenging time.  I even plugged a little bit of energy into their family system that was empty at the moment.  My hope is that it gave her a little spark to be able to go out in the world and do the good work that she does - helping others see through their own limiting beliefs.  I don’t know if it did any of that, but I hope so.

You see, your inner work is entirely for you.  It is for your transformation, and the possibility of ending your own suffering.  And it is entirely not for you - it is for the world.  Because the more you liberate yourself, the more you can’t help but pour Love, goodness, and consciousness back into the planet. The more you can’t help but share your natural gifts and magic. And that magic is exactly what the world needs right now.

As we enter into the final weeks of the year may we remember to do our best.  If you’re struggling right now, know that there are others in this world who are holding you in the highest light and blessing you with peace.  If you are feeling a bit more full right now, offer your light and your hand to another.  May we walk forward together.

This is my last note for 2022.  I’m sending you so much love and many best wishes for a happy holiday season.  And I look forward to connecting again in 2023.  With Love, Sarah