When Self-Doubt Comes up
(Image by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash)
Last month I put in a request to the Universe: “I’d love to do some collaborative work with teachers and friends I really enjoy, Thanks!”
Not one week later my longtime yoga teacher invited me to guest teach in a meditation and yoga program he’s running this month. I thanked the Universe for the opportunity and said an enthusiastic “YES!” to his invitation. I felt a little nervous but mostly excited for the opportunity to teach a bigger audience while collaborating with my teacher.
Fast forward to a week ago. The freak out started with me worrying that my teacher would be highly critical of everything I taught. It continued with me worrying that I won’t be able to fit into any of my yoga clothes because of all the Halloween candy I’ve been eating. It got really going when I decided I couldn’t prepare for the class because I was probably going to forget everything I was gonna say.
Ugh. All of those thoughts slowed down my preparation process. I knew I needed to do something about the self-doubt.
WHY DOUBT YOURSELF?
With this new teaching arrangement I have an opportunity to step up into something bigger. A bigger expression of what the yogis call my dharma - my soul’s work. It’s exciting and unfamiliar. I have to go outside of my comfort zone to teach to this number of people and do it as a guest teacher.
Stepping out of your comfort zone feels well, uncomfortable. And because you’re not used to being out there you’ll tend to doubt yourself more than you might if you looked at the situation logically. Whenever you’re out of your comfort zone, self-doubt will try to get you back into it.
SELF-DOUBT STORIES
Your self-doubt is specifically tuned to what you most fear and is a way that fear tries to tell you to stop. Mine comes up around making a mistake and the fear that then I’ll be excluded from the group (in this case my teacher will dump me!) And I always have fears about being rejected because my body is less than perfect.
But your self-doubt stories could be something very different. If you have a story that your body has always let you down in the past, then you might doubt your strength or stamina to get through a yoga class. If you have a story that people always hate what you do then you’ll have a fear that the students will leave the class early.
The doubts that come up will be highly specific to the fear-filled stories you tell yourself.
The fact that your self-doubt is based on your old fear stories actually a good thing. It means that when self-doubt comes up, you can learn to recognize it and not let it keep you from living your dharma. Think about it, if you’re afraid of the same thing you were afraid of the last time, but it’s a very different situation, then you can bet that your fear is based in your imagination not in the situation.
GETTING SELF-DOUBT TO QUIET DOWN
I’ve found that expecting self-doubt and being kind to it help a lot when it comes to getting it to settle down so you can live your dharma.
The next time you’re about to step out of your comfort zone try this:
Expect self-doubt to come too
When it shows up, thank it for being there and for trying to keep you safe in your comfort zone
Tell the doubt you hear it, and you’ve got this one handled, it can step back
Get back to work
You may want to do this in a journal where you can have a written dialogue with your self-doubt. Or you may find that just imagining the self-doubt stepping back opens up enough free space for you to get back to living your dharma. You will feel much better if you do the work that your doubt is trying to stop you from, than if you sit and listen to the doubt. So I recommend getting to work.
This week I’ve been making room for self-doubt but not letting it stop me. As I prepare my class, I’ve been taking moments to acknowledge and kindly thank my self-doubt for being here. Then I remind it that I want this opportunity and I know I can handle it even if it’s a stretch for me. Finally, I turn to my work and my self-doubt quiets down in the background.
PRACTICE AND STEP UP
You may never get so comfortable outside of your comfort zone that self-doubt becomes a thing of the past. But you can get comfortable dealing with your self-doubt so that your doubts don’t stop you from making bigger moves in your life. Learning to work with it just takes a little practice.
I hope you will practice getting your self-doubt to quiet down. That’s because I know that you are way more than just your doubts and fears. And, right now this world needs all of us to step up and fully live our dharma.