When you ignore your body...
(Photo by Romina Farías on Unsplash)
I’m standing in my kitchen, trying to get dinner started while my son excitedly tells me about his day. The sun is shining through the windows and everything should be great. But it’s not. I’m cranky and have an irritable feeling running through my veins that makes my skin itch. My attention span for what my 8yo has to say is about a millimeter long.
From the way I’m feeling you’d think something is horribly wrong with my life. But when I pause and connect with body, I realize there’s something extremely simple that’s making me feel so irritable. I need to go to the bathroom and I’ve been ignoring my body’s signs.
Once I take care of my body, I’m less cranky and I’m ready to listen to my son’s playground drama. It’s so simple. AND SO COMMON….
IGNORING YOUR BODY
Do you do that? Do you go through your day only vaguely aware that there’s a whole body attached beneath your head? Most of us have been taught to ignore our bodies. My public school education was great for this - neat rows of desks where we were expected to stay put and stay quiet. You may also have been expected to behave properly in adult situations like church or temple, weddings or at the dinner table. As we grow up, we learn to quiet down our bodies to please the adults in our lives.
Unfortunately, by the time we’re adults we’ve learned it so well that we can go hours without even noticing that we have a body. Sitting at a computer in a slouched posture. Commuting hunched shoulders. Going for a long run with a broken toe that we barely even feel. Or going hours on end without visiting the lavatory.
It’s so built in to our culture to brush aside the needs and sensations of the body that most of us don’t even realize that we’re doing it. There’s a big side effect that comes with ignoring your body and it explains why I couldn’t listen to my son until I took care of myself.
WHY YOU CAN’T CONCENTRATE
Whether you know it or not, your mind is paying attention to your body. When you ignore your body, some part of your mind gets occupied with ignoring it. When you’re not attending to your body consciously, and you’re certainly not doing anything about all the alarms your body is sending. All of that noise from your body takes up mental space and clutters your mind. It’s like having a subtle smoke alarm going off all the time while you’re trying to concentrate.
And so, when you’re ignoring your body you can’t concentrate very well because part of your brain is still attending to your body. This can lead you to be irritable, cranky, frustrated. It can make you feel like you can’t think straight. And it means you’re more likely to say or do things that are unintended because you have less attention. Less attention means less ability to make conscious choices about your words and actions.
START PAYING ATTENTION
Things start to change once you start paying attention to your body. Your body doesn’t pretend it has a broken ankle. It only asks for your attention when it needs it. So when you start paying attention and giving it things like: warm socks, a trip to the bathroom, a glass of water, a change of position, or an earlier bedtime you free up an enormous amount of mental energy.
More mental space means you can concentrate. It means you’re more present when your child or parent tries to share something about their lives. Better relationship with your body means better relationships in your life.
GROUND-LEVEL SELF-CARE
I think of paying attention to and caring for your body as ground level self-care. When you can notice that your body is trying to get your attention, figure out what it needs, and give it to yourself you are engaging in profound yet simple self-care.
It starts with asking a simple question:
What does this physical body, which is my sacred home for this lifetime, need in this moment?
Here are some other ways to start paying attention to your body:
Notice the shape your body is in right now. What sensations do you have?
Set an alarm to notice your body a few times a day
Ask your body what it needs?
Give it what it needs if possible
Use the bathroom when you need to go
Eat a snack (or meal) when you’re hungry
I know that our relationships with our bodies are super complicated. Some of us have been divorced from our bodies for decades. It may be that even taking a small step towards noticing your body can feel really scary. It’s ok to go slow. Your body isn’t going anywhere without you.
LIVE FROM YOUR BODY
But I encourage you to start, especially if you’ve been cranky at times without knowing why. If you can take the step of acknowledging your body and giving it what it needs you will free up mental energy that can be put towards making conscious choices or building conscious relationship. And, being more responsive to your physical form, makes you more responsive in general.
All of this helps you land in your life in a true way. No more irritability coming out of nowhere (well, less of it hopefully). More aliveness and responsiveness to yourself and others. More feeling of LIVING in your body in the heart of your life. That’s embodied living. Your body is waiting for your attention.