Lessons from 20 years on the mat: #1 My Body is a Wonderland
This summer marks my 20th year practicing yoga. What started in the basement of an office building in Fredericksburg, VA has become a journey of discovery and growth that I never could’ve imagined and wouldn’t trade for anything. In celebration, I’m sharing the biggest lessons that 20 years of yoga has taught me in the hopes that they support you on your yoga journey.
Lesson 1: My Body is a Wonderland
Aren’t bodies awesome? Isn’t it so cool to have a body to live in? When I pause and marvel at the intelligence, capacity and ingenuity of human bodies I am dropped into a state of wonder. It reminds me that being embodied is a gift.
When I first started practicing yoga I was already tapped in to my body. I was a dancer and was getting ready to start a master’s program in dance/movement therapy. I knew that bodies were great and I enjoyed moving mine.
But I also was looking at my body with a performer’s eyes. I was always trying to discipline it into strict ballet shapes and forms - and it never measured up. Too tall, too fat, too uncoordinated.
Yoga helped me shift from seeing my body as something to judge, measure and discipline into seeing it as a gift to celebrate, enjoy, and savor. By returning to the mat week after week and eventually day after day I got to know my body’s tendencies and nuances. I reveled in her capabilities as I learned new and challenging poses. I argued with her limitations until I realized that was fruitless and I learned to let her teach me about them instead.
BODY AS PLAYGROUND
One of the best things about the wonderland of my body is that it’s like an infinite playground. When I don’t take things too seriously, yoga lets me play in my physicality. There are times when practice feels like when I used to run until I was out of breath and climb trees until I could touch the sky. Getting on my mat becomes a play date in my body. We make shapes and explore sensations and I drop back into the embodied playfulness that I knew as a kid. My body loves to play and without yoga I’m not sure I’d do much playing.
BODY AS MYSTERY
On the other side of the play and delight in the body is the deep mystery of it. The longer I practice, the more mysterious my body becomes. I’m 20 years older than I was when I started. Now when I get on my mat, long forgotten body parts raise cries of protest. Poses that once seemed simple now require herculean effort to even attempt. And there’s fear too. I worry that my body could get hurt in some irreparable way.
I could let the aches, challenges, and worries stop me, or I can lean into the wonder of it. These days, the practice is teaching me not to fight or to judge when my body isn’t the same as it was. Instead it’s inspiring me to lean in to the mystery, to be curious and wonder about how things will go today. I’m working with noticing what happens when I apply alignment, or send the breath into a pose. Because of this exploratory mindset, my practice has much more depth and nuance than it had when I first started. I have a deep awareness that resides within my body that wouldn’t be there if I was totally fixated on achieving poses to check off some list. Awareness in my body translates to more awareness in my general life. I’m less distracted by ruminating thoughts and I’m more present for life. By learning to listen to the mystery of my body while I’m on my mat, yoga has taught me to listen to the mystery of life all around me.
IT’S A WONDERLAND
Physical yoga reminds us that we only have one body for this lifetime. By leaning into the mystery and play of the body we get to explore unexpected places and learn to celebrate our embodiment. Some schools of yoga teach that the body is a distraction, meant to be transcended if we ever wish to reach enlightenment. That works for some people. But I prefer the Tantric teaching that your body is a gift meant to be savored. From this viewpoint, your body is a pathway to enlightenment. That makes it the ultimate wonderland.
So there’s our first lesson:
My body is a wonderland.
Your body is a wonderland.
All bodies are wonderlands.
A practice: your body is a wonderland
Before you start, remind yourself that this exercise has nothing to do with how your body looks or any other judgement of your body. If judgement or negativity creeps in, notice it and just return to remembering that having a body is a gift.
Pause and remember the last time you ate
Consider that your body has taken that food and turned it into you
It didn’t need your help, it did it with its own intelligence
Pause and remember the last time you had a paper cut
Consider that your body healed that cut
It didn’t need your help, it did it with its own intelligence
Pause and think about your breath moving (if you are able, feel your breath)
Consider that your breath is breathing you
even if it’s challenging to feel it, you are still being breathed
Your body doesn’t need your help, it does it on its own
These things said -
Not all bodies operate in the same way
Some bodies need support in big or small ways
Consider that your body is able to receive support
Dwell in the knowing that your body offers your spirit a home for as long as you are here
Does this teaching resonate with you? Has yoga helped you experience a similar feeling of wonderment about your body? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
Over the next several weeks I’ll be sharing my Top 5 lessons learned from 20 years on the mat. It’s my intention to support and inspire you to continue your own exploration of yoga. Whether you’re just beginning or have been at it way longer than I have, this series is for you.
May your practice continue and may we meet again on our mats very soon.
Sending love to you and your wonderland of a body! xo Sarah