How To Refill Your Vessel Now
My kid is doing half-day camp this week. That means my husband and I are driving around town like chickens with our heads cut off so we can get things done and get him to and from camp (and everything else he wants to do). It’s exhausting. Half-day camp isn’t my favorite.
Yesterday I had 30 minutes of quiet before I went to teach a yoga class. I knew I was running on fumes. I also knew my go-to of scrolling social media would drain more out of me. I needed to do something that would fill me up. So I looked around my living room, saw my dust-covered piano and knew what I was gonna do. I pulled out some of my favorite tunes, and played.
I’m glad nobody was home to hear me because it wasn’t great. And, I haven’t played in so long that it was kind of hard. But when I got up 30 minutes later, my mind was clear, my heart was open, and my body had more energy than it’d had all day. Playing piano was the perfect refill for my body, mind, and heart.
AN EMPTY VESSEL
I know you’ve heard it before that you can’t pour from an empty vessel. But let me remind you again: YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY VESSEL. No, you really can’t. Unfortunately these days it seems like life’s trying to poke holes in our vessels and drain them when they used to stay full. I don’t have to tell you what’s going on; you know that everyone’s dealing with a lot in the big picture and the small picture.
FILL DIFFERENTLY NOW
Filling your vessel is probably not new information to you. But what may be new right now is HOW you need to fill your vessel. What I’m hearing from folks in coaching and yoga is that things that used to fill them up aren’t working anymore. Or if they are working, they aren’t working as well. If what used to fill your vessel isn’t working anymore, it’s time to figure out something else. You may need to explore new ways or old ways to fill up. Things that you never expected might be exactly what you need to fill back up right now.
The way to figure out what you need is to explore. You have to set the daily intention to fill back up. And then, go looking for things that could do it for you. I often recommend to coaching clients that they think of this as a big experiment. One where you test out ideas and see what results they give. And I suggest they look in two directions: towards the past and towards the future.
TO THE PAST AND FUTURE
Looking to the PAST: One place to start is to remember things that you loved as a kid. Oftentimes folks have lost touch with their childhood joys. But those things were what you naturally gravitated towards when you were younger. They soothed, engaged, and interested you back then. Returning to them now, may feel like a homecoming - one that supports you on all levels.
When you try something from your childhood, you may feel silly at first. That’s ok, let yourself be a silly kid and go for it anyway. Given a few tries you’ll realize one of two things: “Hey! This is fun, it’s filling me up, and I want to do more of it”. or “Hey! Not so great, I don’t need to keep doing this anymore.” Either way you get more information. Hopefully you’ll rediscover something that fills your vessel and makes your heart happy.
Looking to the FUTURE: The other thing you can do is consider what you’ve always dreamed of doing. We have this tendency to push our dreams off into the unknown future of ‘someday.’ Well, what if ‘someday’ has come, and trying one of your dreams is exactly what you need tight now?
Things that come to mind for me are and stand-up paddle boarding on the river, or learning a language, or planting something in my backyard. They aren’t wildly-improbable-dreams, they’re simple but I keep putting them off. I’m sure I’d learn something by trying any of them. I’d probably figure out I like at least one of them, and doing it might fill my vessel.
The point with exploring your dream activities is to give your brain new food. Hopefully by trying these things you spark some interest, play a little, and get our of old rust. Your dream activities may be able to nourish you in a new and different way. Which is just what all of us need in this new and different world.
THIS IS SELF-CARE
What I’m really talking about is a kind of self-care. It’s not bubble baths and pedicures self-care. It’s not even meditation and staying hydrated self-care. This kind of self-care is about moving out of habitual ruts and exploring things like play, enjoyment, interest, learning new things, and growing. Add a little bit of challenge in your activity and notice how your mind lights up. It’s brain food. And all of these mental patterns have been shown to help us refill our cups.
Thank goodness. Because what we need collectively right now is a ton of full hearts. Ones that are able to pour out kindness, compassion, enthusiasm, and love no matter how dark the days feel. When your heart is full you’re better able to support yourself and those around you. You become a gift not a burden to any room you enter. I’m not saying to do it for anyone else. You do it for you. But you can’t deny that self-care for you is really self-care for the planet. And when you’re full you can pour out again.
Remember, there are lots of ways to refill, and if you need to rest I think you should rest like it’s your job. But if you’ve gotten empty because you’re stuck in a habit of ‘this is what I do to refill’-then it’s time to do some exploring. Take some time to play around this week. Recall a childhood joy or try a dream activity and watch what happens. I think your cup will fill up a little bit more. I know your Heart will thank you for it.