When Obstacles Block your Authentic Life
Y’all may remember, my husband made a movie in January. When I say this was a low budget movie, that’s the ultimate understatement. So, he knew from the start that most of his job was gonna be about creative problem solving. He had to figure out how to get the look he wanted but stay in budget. And he had to think on his feet over and over again when things didn’t go as expected.
That’s what movie making is. It’s not this neat, clean, step-by-step process. It’s more like creative chaos. But going through the process was the only thing that made the movie. Interestingly, going through the process was also the only thing that made my husband capable of making the movie.
Now that he’s finished shooting he’s still in that creative process. Instead of lighting challenges, now he’s dealing with personal relationships and creative differences. It’s pushing his buttons and asking him to stand up for his convictions in new ways. It’s stressful, but again, it’s shaping my husband into a better filmmaker Without friction he wouldn’t become the professional he’s becoming. All the work he’s doing now will pay off if he ever makes another movie.
As he just told me: “If making movies was easy, everyone would do it”
When Authentic Life is Blocked
I see this kind of thing all the time in my coaching practice. You’ve decided you’re finally ready to live your Authentic Life.You set out towards big dreams, full of inspiration and enthusiasm. But then, something gets in the way. Maybe old thinking patterns keep you stuck playing small. Or it’s harder than you thought to get a new habit going. Maybe you don’t get immediate results - first steps don’t go anywhere. Obstacle after obstacle comes up and you feel just as stuck as when you started. Only now, it’s worse because you were trying to change, but change isn’t coming.
You’ll feel discouraged and frustrated. Hopeless. You think: “If only those obstacles would get out of the way… then I could have my Authentic Life”.
Obstacles Are the Way
I’m going to suggest something else. Something very life-coach-y. Something most people don’t want to hear:
The obstacles ARE the way to your Authentic Life.
The negative thoughts that keep you playing small are exactly what to work with. The first steps that seem to stall are where you need to refine and try again. The new habit that is hard to stick with is the one to pour more energy into.
Though you may want to push obstacles aside, they actually have a huge role to play in getting you to your Authentic Life. Whatever pops up when you’re trying to get to your dreams is offering you constructive friction. It shows you the gap between who you are now and who you’ll need to be in order to live your Authentic Life. When you meet the friction, you change and grow. Over time, meeting more and more creative friction, you become the person who can live the life you’re dreaming of.
Inner Obstacles too
I believe this happens for inner work just as much as outer work. Of course, it can be hard to do things in your outer world like make a movie. But it can be equally as hard to do the inner work it takes to re-build relationships, or transform yourself. In inner work the obstacles can be resistance, reluctance, or a very powerful mind that’s full of negative messages.
Again, you might think you just need to push that stuff aside. But the stuff that’s in the way IS the way. Move towards it, explore it, welcome it with compassion and then you’ll see how much easier it is to live your Authenticity.
Ganesha: Remover of Obstacles
In the Hindu pantheon, Ganesha is the elephant-headed diety who guards thresholds and removes obstacles. Stuck spiritual seekers go to Ganesha to ask him to take away the blockages and help them move forward. It sounds simple: ask and your troubles are removed.
But there’s another interpretation of Ganesha that I really love. Imagine that you need to get through a door but there’s an ELEPHANT in the way. Not only is Ganesha the remover of obstacles - he is an obstacle. As Prof. Douglas Brooks says: “He’s the elephant in the room.”
If you wanna get where you’re going, you’re gonna have to deal with the elephant. In this sense, Ganesha illustrates the point I’ve been making. To get where you want to go, you’ve gotta deal with whatever’s right in front of you. It’s the process of working with your obstacles that shapes you.
This is Transformation
I share about obstacles not to discourage you, but to give you insight on your transformation. Life’s always gonna have its challenges. And when you decide to grow, all the obstacles that’ve kept you stuck will show their faces. Your ability to meet them with kindness, compassion, grace, and ferocity is what will determine whether they hold you back or propel you forward.
If now is a dreaming time, a scheming and plotting time… if you’re longing for your Authentic Life but obstacles are getting in the way, take heart. Your obstacles are showing up as opportunities to work with the creative friction.
Use the friction as a wake-up call. Pay attention and become a student of your obstacles. Let them teach you what they will. In the process, allow yourself to be transformed. Before you know it you’ll be aligning with your deepest self and living a life you could’ve only dreamed about.
Journal Exercise for when you’re Blocked
If you’re feeling blocked right now, try this simple exercise:
Take a few minutes of quiet space to yourself
Call up a dream and imagine it fully. Write it in your journal
Now, imagine there’s an elephant literally blocking the way to your dream. How might you work with the elephant so that you can get past it? Write that down.
Now leap to your real life, write down one “elephant in the room” (obstacle) that’s in the way of your dream.
Think metaphorically about your earlier solution to getting the elephant out of your way - How might you work with the real life “elephant” in the same way? Write down your solution.
ex. if in the imagined scenario you thought of offering the elephant food and leading it to another place - how might you metaphorically “feed” your obstacle?
If you’re feeling bold, try out your solution on the obstacle and see what happens. The point isn’t to get the exact outcome. The point is to take steps to work with the friction so that it can transform you.
Let me know how it goes.