Living on the Surface? A Way Back to the Deeper Part of Yourself.
Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash
There are times in my life when I feel like I’m just going through the motions. I show up to teach but I don’t feel particularly connected to the practice. I make dinner and help my kids to bed in a robotic way. I spend the day checking off boxes of what “needs to be done” without any heartfelt connection to any of it. Then I put myself to bed and do the same thing over the next day. It’s like I barely scratch the surface of living and my days slide by in a blur.
But, there are other days when I feel like I am really living my life. I embody my practices. I connect and laugh with my children and husband. One experience flows into the next and I flow with it. Some parts of the day may truly suck, but I go to bed with a feeling of fulfillment because I’m living my life from the deepest part of myself.
I much prefer to live from that deeper place, and I bet you do to or you wouldn’t be reading this. For years I couldn’t figure out how to get there.
ON THE SURFACE
Living on the surface feels bland. There’s no vitality in your experience. It’s dull. And while you may be getting things done, they’re not coming from your soul so they don’t inspire or excite you.
Coping with ongoing pandemic living and the overwhelm I wrote about last week has a lot of us living on the surface. And honestly, surface level living is a helpful coping strategy for when things are hard (like in a global pandemic). But if you’ve been here for a while, you may notice that part of you, the REAL YOU seems to be missing.
RECONNECT WITH THE REAL YOU
What’s needed is a bridge of connection back to the soul level Real You - which we’ll call the Essential You.
One of the resources we all have is inner guidance. I believe your Heart is always speaking to you. Always guiding you.
Learning to listen for your Heart’s guidance is a way to dive back below the surface level of life and reconnect with authenticity, truth, and depth. When you touch back into the Essential You, you are more resourceful, creative, connective. You have more trust for yourself and your ability to handle whatever life is bringing you.
More than that, you feel empowered from the inside out. You don’t have to go to anyone or anything else to tell you how to be or live because you are being guided by the strong loving presence that is your Heart. Your trust and aliveness aren’t coming from the outside anymore, they’re coming from the inside. You feel it as an inner stability that doesn’t get shaken by life.
This is not about ego. Heart is much bigger than ego. Inner guidance arises in the moment when you are open and available for it. Ego is always ready to pounce with good intentions and strong advice. So you’ve got to listen deeper if you’re going to connect with inner guidance.
GOING FROM SURFACE TO DEEP
Several years ago I was doing a lot of solo parenting, which meant getting to lots of carpool and appointments for my kids. I realized that I was just checking off the boxes of my day. Meditate, check. yoga, check, dinner, laundry, work check check check. But most everything was feeling empty. It wasn’t horrible, but there wasn’t much richness.
I’d read about Sit Spot practice recently. It sounded interesting but I hadn’t tried it.
All of a sudden, over the course of a few days, my Heart made it very clear to me that I needed to start a Sit Spot practice. It was wintertime so I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of sitting out in the cold once a day. But I did it.
Almost immediately I noticed changes in myself. My mind got a lot quieter. My body felt more alive. My senses perked up. I felt more relaxed as low level anxiety disappeared. And instead of going through my days checking off boxes I experienced a more meaningful connection with my life again.
My mind would’ve never suggested Sit Spot. My ego rejected the idea of Sit Spot. My Heart knew better and I’m glad I listened.
HOW TO GO DEEP
If you notice that you’re living on the surface and have lost touch with the deeper part of yourself, no worries, you can rebuild your connection. It’s a simple process. The next time you feel disconnected:
Pause
Ask a question of your Heart
Listen for the answer that is coming from a place that is deeper than your mind
Follow your Heart’s guidance
Unless you’ve worked at it, your mind may be SO loud at first that you can’t hear what your Heart has to say. Unfortunately, your mind doesn’t always have the best advice.
So play around with ways to step around your mind: Journal the question and answer. Use an oracle or tarot deck. Move your body - walk or dance. Take a shower or bath - the best insights always come in the shower, don’t they?
Practice this over and over and you’ll rebuild the bridge to your Heart.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
Interestingly, while the process of connecting with your Heart is all about the Essential You, you’ll find that Heart guidance is much bigger. It goes beyond the small level you into the depth of the Essential You and to your outer most edges.
Your inner guidance doesn’t want you to stay small or ego driven. It will always guide you deeper. And towards a full, rich, expression of yourself.
Your life takes on bigger meaning when you connect with and live from the inner guidance from your Heart. Make it a practice and it will transform your life.