Everything Runs Together and What to Do About It
Did you see the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day? It’s the one where he’s a weather man sent to report on a Groundhog’s day celebration and ends up living the same day over and over again. He tries all sorts of things to make it stop. But every morning when he wakes up, it’s February 2nd.
Sound familiar? Pandemic living has felt like that for my family. It’s been like living one day that stretched on for months. Without activities and appointments our routine felt pretty monotonous. And there were definitely times when I lost track of time.
EVERYTHING RUNS TOGETHER
Living like that is giving a lot of us the sense that everything is running together. We’re moving slowly, but we’re busy and there aren’t the normal transitions in the day. School, work, parenting, and living are all happening at once and in the same place. It feels messy. Life feels like a big run on sentence.
Living in a run on sentence is disorienting (what day is it again?) and stressful. Without built-in breaks it can seem like a symphony orchestra playing all the notes at once - loud, confusing, and noisy. You may notice that it’s harder to concentrate. You may be more irritable. And you could have the feeling that you can’t get anything done because everything is happening at once. It’s hard to see what’s getting accomplished and tasks seem overwhelming - again because they all need attention at the same time.
Ugh. I’m getting stressed just writing this.
PRESS PAUSE
What you need when a sentence gets too long is a period. What you need when all the music is playing at once is a rest mark. What you need when everything in life is piling up on itself is a pause.
A Pause.
A pause lets you inject a tiny bit of space into your life. It separates out the parts so that they aren’t happening all at once. Pause lets you catch your breath. It lets you put the period at the end of the sentence of whatever you are doing, before you start the next activity.
Notice it’s a pause, not a full stop. I’m not suggesting giving up or running away from your life. That’s letting the circumstances overpower you. And really, I know you can handle this. A pause is just a short moment to notice what’s finished before you move on to the next thing.
Most of us aren’t very good at this even when there isn’t a pandemic. We run from one activity to the next, eating in the car, and multi-tasking as much as possible. We almost never pause. That’s why non-pandemic life feels so busy.
But the pause is useful because it gives you a moment of a break. It lets you slow down the pace of your life. It helps you to notice when a job is complete. And it’s the chance to drop back in to what feels important. In the pause you can connect with your values, your intentions, your Heart. In the pause is where you find peace.
DINNERTIME PAUSE
When my daughter was a toddler I was often stressed as I made dinner with her underfoot. I’d bring it to the table, call my husband, get my daughter wrangled into her seat, and the three of us would dig into our meals. Unfortunately, I was still carrying the stress from cooking so I barely connected with my family while we ate.
I knew I wanted to be different. So, I built in a pause before we started eating.
We started a ritual of holding hands and taking three deep breaths at the beginning of every meal. It’s a simple thing that takes about 20 seconds, but it makes a huge difference. I make eye contact with my husband and children on each breath. I slow down and get more present. And it makes it very clear to all of us that now is mealtime, and mealtime is important.
Pausing builds a protective bubble around parts of the day that are important to you. It signals that something special is about to begin or just finished. It’s also a way to mark bigger transitions like the completion of a big project, or the change of a season. It is a way to honor that a transition is happening.
Pausing can be as small as those three breaths at dinner or as big as a weeklong retreat.
Two simple ways to pause
Mini-Breaks all day-
Set an alarm on your phone to go of every hour or two
Whenever you hear the alarm - take a deep breath and pause whatever you are doing for the duration of the breath
Connect with your Heart
Then move on with your day.
Meditation on the Pause
Sit for meditation and set a timer
For the first few minutes notice the feeling of your breath moving in and out
Begin to notice the pause between the breaths
Become more and more drawn into the pause
Rest in the pause until the timer goes off
It’s that simple. And, it makes a huge difference.
Be Intentional
Once you get in the habit of pausing you can also be intentional about adding it to other important times. You could take a pause at the start or end of your day, a pause before your meal, a pause at the end of virtual school, or a pause before you sign-in to your zoom meeting.
Remember,the pause helps you mark transitions so that your life stops running on endlessly. But more importantly, the pause is there so that you can briefly reconnect with yourself and your Heart. When you do that, you are more centered, connected, and peaceful. And I know that’s how you want to live.
A SUPPORTED PAUSE
Would you like to join me for a pause as we transition into Autumn? I’m offering Autumn Equinox Story Night on Tuesday September 22 as a way for you to pause and honor the change of seasons. The evening will include a story told by me, along with reflection and some coaching in a small and intimate group. Click here for Details and Registration - but don’t delay only 3 spaces remain.
