Make Important Decisions from your Authentic Self
This week I have a decision to make. It’s one that asks me to make a commitment. And because I take my commitments seriously, I don’t make the decision lightly. If I’m honest, it’s been stressing me out.
Thing is, on paper there are good reasons for making this commitment and there are good reasons to let it go. If I say yes, there will be some awkwardness to sort through but there will also be good things to come. If I say no I avoid the awkwardness, but I don’t get the experience either. What to do… What to do…
Logic
When I was growing up I learned to use logic to make decisions. That good list of pros and cons was always helpful. Decisions were about using your mind to make the most advantageous choice for yourself. A lot of times, for me, that meant playing things safe and always following the rules. I mostly got what I expected, but nothing more.
The problem with only using logic to make a decision is that it ignores the many other layers of oneself. Yes, we each have a very powerful mind that is primed to make logical decisions. But it’s not so great at making emotional or intuitive ones.
I don’t know about you, but most of my best decisions have been emotional and intuitive.
A Holistic View
Our culture sees logic as the end, but I see it as only one part of a much grander whole. The bigger whole includes body-level knowing, emotional knowing, and even bursts of intuition. These things don’t make logical sense. But they make soul sense. And that’s why it’s important to tune into them.
I believe we’re always being offered opportunities for soul growth. Growth that moves us more into alignment with our authentic self. But if we’re always using logic for decision making we’ll often pass up these opportunities because they often aren’t particularly logical.
Here are some pretty big examples from my life:
After my son was born I needed support with postpartum blues. The first therapist I saw was totally fine, but something in me said I should keep looking - When I did, I found the meditation teacher I’ve been working with for a decade
When I was learning Anusara yoga, there was a studio in Washington DC where I could take classes. But for some reason it didn’t feel like a fit for me. I had an intuitive knowing that I should work with a man named Todd who was based in Massachusetts. It wasn’t a logical fit. But I ended up studying with him for 10 years and he was extremely influential for my yoga teaching.
Even choosing to go on a first date with the man who became my husband was more intuitive than logical. That’s a decisionthat changed everything for me.
And I’ve had small moments too
I usually book connecting flights through Charlotte, NC. But when I was booking a flight for a yoga retreat several years ago I sensed I should go through Philadelphia instead. There was a flight through Charlotte. It didn’t make sense, but I followed my intuition and booked through Philly. Well, when I got to the airport a month later the Charlotte flight was canceled but my trip through Philly was fine.
It’s strange. I couldn’t tell you exactly why I made any of these decisions. They just felt right. Something in me, that wasn’t my logical mind, was pointing me in a direction. And lucky for me, at that moment I had enough wherewithal to follow.
Which brings me back to my dilemma. I don’t want my mind to steamroll my heart and soul. That’s why I believe it’s important to have ways to communicate with my body, my heart, and my soul so that my Authentic self can weigh in on my decisions.
Make the Connection
There are as many ways of connecting with your Authentic Self as there are authentic selves out there. You’ll have to find your way. But here are some ways that work for me and my clients
Embodied Knowing- If you know how your body says YES and NO then you can ask your body Yes/No questions. Like: “Is now the time to take on this adventure?” and “Do I have the energy to bring this into my life?” Your body can’t lie. It always tells the truth (whether your logical mind likes it or not) Get good at asking and listening for the answers.
Emotional Journaling - Let your emotional side wax poetic on paper until an answer becomes clear. Give yourself time - it make take a few minutes for your logical mind to get out of the way.
Soul Parts / Archetypes - Ask the different parts of you their thoughts on the issue. This is a little out there if you haven’t done the groundwork for it. But if you already have a connection with different aspects or archetypes within you can ask their opinion. Your answers will have different energetic frequencies depending on the archetype that answers. They may not even agree with each other. But hand it over to the inner monarch to make the ultimate decision and you’ll feel quite empowered.
Take it to your practices - get very clear on your question. Ask for an intuitive hit to come through, then let it go. Do your practice - Meditate, practice yoga, go for your run. You don’t need to think about it, just let your intuition arise. (it might take a little while after your practice for your answer to come through, be patient.)
Signs and Synchronicities - This one follows from the last one. Ask the Universe for a sign. Go into nature and be aware of synchronicities. TRUST YOURSELF when they show up. And then stop. Don’t second guess or overthink it. Just remember how you felt when the sign appeared.
Trusted Advisors - Conversations with the ones who really have your best interest in mind, and are neutral to the situation. You could talk with a coach or therapist. It could be friends. It could even be an imagined advisory committee of folks you admire throughout all time. But the big thing with this one is to remember that ultimately, you need to trust yourself to make the decision.
In yoga there’s something called Guru principle. It is the teaching that rather than giving your decisions, power, and responsibility away to a specific human “guru” you find the teacher within. That means, you, dear one, are your best guru. You are your best guide.
Trust Yourself
The hardest part of making a decision that isn’t based on logic is that you have nothing to fall back on. You can’t hold up a list with all your reasons. You can’t say “Aunt Jane told me to do this so I’m doing it” You don’t get to abdicate your power.
You just have to go with “it feels right”. You have to trust yourself. That’s all there is to it.
Can you release the logical mind for a moment and learn to trust the other parts of you? The most authentic and connected parts of you. It starts with building relationship with those parts even when there’s not a huge decision to make… and it continues when you remember to come back to your most authentic self time and time again.
Your Authentic Self knows and wants what’s best for you. Get your mind out of the way and trust it.