Who are You Really?

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

This fall we’re diving into Tantric Yoga philosophy as applied to modern life. Even if you’re not a “yoga person” you may find that this philosophy has something to offer… come along for the ride.

Sometimes when I sit outside at 6 am I am an observer.  I sit and I watch the wind blow through the trees.  I listen to the crickets finish their night’s chirp.  I watch stars blink out as daylight arrives.  On these quiet mornings my mind is busy-busy.  Rewriting the book I read before bed, wondering about how the television show I watched is going to turn out.  Making lists of what needs to be done.  Rehashing old arguments that don’t need revisiting.  On these mornings I am an outsider in my own backyard.  I’m there.  But I’m not really part of it.

Sometimes when I sit outside at 6 am I am a participant.  I breathe with the wind as it blows my hair by my face.  I drink the rain that drips down my cheeks.  I shiver as the first birdsong breaks the spell of night.  I welcome the slivers of golden light that illuminate the treetops.  On these quiet mornings my mind is soothed into silence.  There’s nothing to rehash or figure out.  In fact, there’s nothing to do but sit here and remember I am part of something so much bigger.  On these mornings I belong to the world.

I’ve yet to find a magic switch that makes it possible for me to go from outsider to belonging.  But the longer I sit with the world the more sure I am that eventually she will reveal her secrets.  I think she’s longing to be known.

Who are you?

Over the next several weeks we’ll journey together into some of the most empowering yoga philosophy from the Non-Dual Shaiva Tantric (NST) tradition.   We’ll do this because I think, in a way, it is a way to understand who we are…. and what we’re doing here.

And there it is.  The big NST vision is something we grapple with every single day.  Am I a separate singular being?  Or am I something more?  In NST the answer is Yes. Clearly this doesn’t answer the question until you look deeper.    

Are you a separate singular being?  Yes, of course you are.  You are YOU!  And look how wonderful you are….  Your unique way of seeing the world is so delightful.  Your humor, your talents, your struggles, your creations, your destructions.  Everything about you is so completely YOU.  And that, my dear one, is your Magic.  Your Authenticity.  Your specific and individual view on the world.  One that has never existed before and never will again.  I’m so glad you’re here.

Are you something more? Yes, of course you are.  Along with being YOU, you are the manifestation of the divine light of consciousness.  You are the universe taken form.  You are Oneness become manyness.   You are unconditional joy and boundless awareness.  You are infinite desire and ever expanding omnipotence.  You are unfolding potentiality creating itself over and over.  You are the stuff of stars.  You are Light.  You are all of it and more that cannot be known or named.  

You are both at the same time.  

Consciousness Takes Form

In the NST vision,  Chiti - unbounded consciousness - chooses to limit herself.  When she limits herself it’s kind of like she goes through the process of condensation.  She goes from fully expanded into more and more boundary until eventually she comes into form.  Much like steam becoming water becoming Ice.  It’s all the same thing, it’s just a different form.   Only in this example, YOU are the ice. You are the form she chooses to take.  

Exactly like steam condensing into ice is still H2O, you are still made up of the same stuff as unbounded consciousness.  So yes, you experience yourself as a singular form.  But your form is made of the stuff of the Universe.  So is everyone else, and everything else.  In the NST vision EVERYTHING is made of Chiti.  

Small and Powerless

This is extremely important because most of us spend most of our lives convinced that we are separate, disconnected, small.  We envision ourselves as powerless in the face of the bigger forces of life and culture. 

NST is much more hopeful.  Yes, you do experience separateness.  It is not an illusion or a dream (as other yoga systems may claim).  Separation is real.  Diversity is real.  And it’s by design so that you can discover the Chiti at the heart of who you are.  Chiti limits herself to hide herself… so that you can have the delight of finding her over and over again.

Discover your Power

Not only that, when Chiti limits herself she doesn’t lose any part of herself. .  Chiti is filled with Shakti.  Shakti is a Sanskrit word that means POWER.  That means that when you become you - you also have every bit of Chiti within you, including her innumerable powers.

When you re-discover Chiti within yourself, you rediscover your innate POWER.  Now, instead of feeling small you remember your vastness.  Instead of being disconnected you stand connected to yourself and the world.  And instead of being powerless you embody your power.  

What’s really going on

So yes, I sit outside most mornings listening to the chirp of the crickets in time with the chirp of my busy-busy mind.  It soothes me and starts my day with some clarity.  But every once in a while I get a moment of something more.  It’s like Chiti pulls back the curtain and reminds me what’s really going on and who I really am.  Those mornings are the magic mornings that keep me coming back.

Over the next several posts we’ll dive into Chiti’s 5 main powers.  Exploring what they mean for modern seekers will hopefully guide us a little closer to Her.  As ever, these explorations are dual purpose in that the more you discover Chiti , the more you discover your authentic self.  And the more you embrace your authenticity the closer you move towards Chiti. 

I want our world to be filled with empowered authentic folks who know who they are from the depths of their being.  I want all of us to live our authenticity fully and freely, with joy in our hearts.  This journey into the Shaktis is one way we might get closer to that vision.  So let’s go!

Authors Note: I am a student of NST (Non-Dual Shiava Tantra) not a scholar and clearly not a child of India, the home of these teachings.  I share them from my perspective as student of the teachings and of the Chiti.  These teachings in particular can be found in a text called Pratyabijna Hrdaya.  Any mistakes are most certainly my own.  For those who are interested in learning more I am happy to recommend teachers to guide you.